TLA [LP&S] ღ #2057: "If I Say I Love You Right Now, Would You Hold It Against Me?"

Welcome to the Lucas ღ Peyton Scott appreciation thread
"tortured artist meets tortured athlete; talk about your obvious attraction."


Tortured artist nearly runs over tortured athlete. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. That's me inside your head. Why did you just tell me all that? We don't even know each other. Maybe that's the point. I'll be seein' ya. On such a full sea are we now afloat. Nice hands. Nice legs. I guess misery really does love company. Lonely. I want to draw something that means something to someone! I want to draw blind faith, or a fading summer, or just a moment of clarity. And if I can't be great at it, then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me. They are not you. Could you take a look at these? You won't be disappointed. The world you desire can be won. It exists... it is real... it is possible... it is yours. You're art matters. It's what got me here. Belief makes things true, things like you, you and I.
You submitted my sketches to thud magazine. And they liked them didn't they? Maybe you are ready, but you're just scared. I guess I'm just a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch. Or maybe just a tortured artist. Look, I don't need you defending me and my work. I don't need you analyzing it or interpreting me either. And in fact, I'm pretty sure I don't need you at all. Pretty sure? You know, I would gladly erase my dad if it would bring back your mom. I wish I could change it for you. I didn't come here for you tonight. Wow, you made me a mix? Does this mean we're dating? I've wanted this for so long. Me too. And now we can have it. I want to have everything with you. I want it all. I want us. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile, and she will be loved.
And now we can't have it. I'm sorry. For what? All sorts of things. I owe you. Don't go with your dreams untold. Nathan, I made a mistake. When you said you wanted to be with me, I got scared and I pushed you away, but the truth is, I want all the same things that you want, I do. And I want them with you. Tracks 8 and 11? Totally you. Maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home. It didn't mean anything. It didn't? Of course it did. I feel it in my heart. Don't you? Yes. I wanna know what it's like on the inside of love. I have to be with you. I'm with you, you know that. I'll wait forever if I have to. I know it's true, no one heals me like you and you hold the key. I was so afraid you weren't going to wake up. What? And miss out on being with you? Come on, without you I'll never feel the love inside of me. Come on, you know that we belong. I love to watch you draw. I can't get you out of my head. I wish we could fast forward these next six months so we could just be together.
It's better this way, right? Yeah. The first cut is the deepest. I know how you’re into this whole 80's metal thing, so I got you the first Tesla record. This is sweet. I got you a high five. Do you want it now or later? Now's good. You don't need to apologize, it's just for all the stuff that you and I have been through... where my head and my heart were at, I couldn't have gone and slept with some stranger. Look, I just want to apologize again for not being a better person lately. I'm trying. I don't know what else to say. It's not what you say, it's what you do. Please, don't take your love away from me.

• • •

When was the last time we even had a conversation about something real? I just thought you could use a friend. Yeah, I could use a friend, but you don't qualify as that anymore. Whatever you think, I really do care about you. You're a good friend. Well now, Bonnie and Clyde, I guess you're wondering why I called you here.
By the way, remember when you accused me of being a crappy friend? Yeah, I'm really sorry. No, you were right. I don't ever want that to happen again, so if you need anything, I'm around. I'm filling in the empty space where you left your mark. Take two steps back from all of this and remember what you started with. You look like you need some chocolate. You gave me the best mixtape I have. Even all the bad songs ain't so bad. I just wish there was so much more than that, about me and you. Looks like it's just you and me this summer. Would have come up to greet us before, if it weren't for my heart, because I've her name in mine and it's calling all the time.

• • •

Come on, let's get you home. I can't be there alone. Will you stay with me? I knew you couldn't go a whole summer without doing something. Whatever. You don't know me. I think I do. I can't wait till you need me here on this side of heaven. It's always going to be there, isn't it? You and me. So the whole summer and I still can't get use to that hair of yours. What? You did yours last spring and mine actually looks good. Hey! Although there is now hope, embers of sadness still glow. Something hasn't quite flown, but I know you're there to catch me now. Sometimes all you need is one. There's that look again. What look? I don't have a look. You're one of the few people that's actually been honest with me through this whole thing. You should go. Yeah, we're both going. Painting while angry? That's original. Like cutting your hair. If I don't go, I never will and I need to. Will you go? Sure. A promise is a promise. Besides, you should be able to turn to me for help. I love being that guy for you. I guess I just needed help getting here. You never needed my help.
The stars are crying for what we could have had. Are you drunk? Are you wearing eye shadow? Working through the pain? Kinda. Everything is going to be alright, right? Yeah, it is. Don't live your life alone. Let us in. I love you more than I could ever say or sing or even show, but I need to have you near so I can feel your heart next to mine. Just so you know, I'm never going anywhere. I'll always be there when you need me, because I care. Don't leave me, please. I'm gonna go block the entrance. We'll just hide, alright? Listen to me, I'm not leaving you. Nothing will happen to you, I promise. You're always saving me. Somebody's got to. If I say I love you right now, will you hold it against me? Come here. If I don't get her out of here, she's going to die. You love me. Okay, that is so not fair. You probably want to kiss me again. Dude, shut up! If I told you I love you, would you hold it against me? Because I do. I know how you are. I'm the same way. I love you, you know that? I love you too. Hey, you look nice. And then there were two. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. Love alters not with time’s brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom.

• • •

She's A Runner? Billy Squier. And I am very impressed that you have Billy Squier on your iTunes. Actually I think you gave that to me. When was the last time we just hung out? Um, just the two of us? Probably the day we hid out in the library and I got shot in the leg. You think about that much? Everyday. I wish I could take that day back for your mom and Keith. Thanks for the sex. We all need a little help sometimes, someone to help us hear the music in the world. To remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there, and that someone will find you. My song is love. My song is love unknown. But I'm on fire for you, clearly. Got to get that message home. Give me your hand. You know I use to watch you? When? Freshman year. Sophomore year. Both summers, actually. Stop it. What did you watch? You're legs mostly. You know, from up close they are a little chickeny. Shut up! But from where I was hiding, they were pretty awesome. I'm not sure that's a compliment. Oh it is, trust me. Look, on the contrary to what's written on your wall, people don't always leave. Last time I checked I'm still here. I would never cut you out of my life. I'm just trying to watch out for you. I know that and I thank you. You were right. I'm sorry I doubted you. Whoa! Is this your way of thanking me? It's okay, I'm here. I thought I'd try and paint the shadows away. It's who I am and you need to be who you are. Can I stay? Sure.
Life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, when it does... is there someone in your life you can count on? Someone who will watch over you when you stumble and fall? And in that moment, give you the strength to face your fears alone? I love you, Lucas. I love you too. You don't understand. I've been holding this in for a really long time. I just need you to know, I love you... I'm in love with you. I'll take my time if you want to. I'll give you what ever you need. I'll wait a lifetime to give it to you. Nice shot. Nice legs. They're a little chickeny. Well, I'll be seein ya. Hey, Peyton. It's you. What? When all my dreams come true... the one I want next to me. It's you. It's you, Peyton. Sharing different heartbeats in one night. You know my girlfriend Peyton, right? By the way, I forgot how much of a good kisser you are. Well, maybe you should come by later and I'll remind you for a few hours. I'd like that. This is good isn't it? Us. It's perfect. Throw your arms around my neck and hold me tightly. There's a lot that we will get. You're always saving me. Please, let me find a way to save you. I have to go back. I never told Peyton I love her. I want to go back. Last time we kissed was so damn good I collapsed. The last time we kissed you had a heart attack. And I didn't die. I couldn't die. Do you know why? Because I had to come back and look into those green eyes of yours and tell you I love you. No matter how long it takes I'll wait for you. I think we waited long enough. I'll wait for love, I'll wait for you.
Brooke, you look amazing. I can't wait till class is over so I can look at those green eyes and kiss your perfect lips. Happy looks good on you. Brooke is the best thing I have in my life. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. Likewise. This is the best cookie I've ever had. You own me, there is nothing you can do. You own me, lucky you. Pretty please with me on top. What do you want now? I want what you wanted. I want everything with you. I'd do anything for you. You are the best one of the best ones. You have stolen my heart. I really love you. I love you too. I promise. Poof. Poof? Poof! You're destined for greatness and we both know that. No matter what happens to either one of us, you will always be in my heart. Just let me hold you for a couple more minutes. That's what's going to fix me. Grant my last request and just let me hold you. Lay down beside me. I was just feeling sentimental about the first time we spoke. I'm going to love you forever. When I see you then I know, it will be next to me. And when I need you then I know, you will be there with me. I'll never leave you.

• • •

Chapter three. Peyton Sawyer is destined for greatness. Actually she's already great, because Peyton Sawyer has a thing called integrity. And nothing and no one is ever going to change that. There are scars that I've been hiding. There are ghosts that I do not claim. There are closets I do not care to open. They open all the same. How long has it been? Two years. No, it's been longer than that. Luke, I missed you. Turn the light out say goodnight. No thinking for a little while. Lets not try to figure out everything at once. So you couldn't change the world from Los Angeles. Change it here. I know you can do it and so do you. Do you remember what you said that night when you first entered the gym? rs. It's what got me here. Yeah, it's like you touched my soul and a few days ago I was ready to quit again, but you saved me with the words you wrote about me in your novel. So if your struggling writing the next one you should know that your art matters Lucas. It's what got me here. When I'm scared and tired, will you breathe in some life. If this world breaks me, would you make me whole again, please. Will you be there for me. We had a relationship. We can't pretend that we didn't. But before that we were really close friends. There's no reason we can't have that again, right? Right. Peyton, I love you and I want us to be together forever. Luke, wait okay. I know it's a bit sudden, but yesterday was a great day. And I'm sitting on the bus and I realize that none of my great days in my life matter without you. You're the one I want next to me when my dreams come true. You're the one I want next to me if they don't. As long as I have you nothing else matters. I am not saying no, I am saying not now. I want to marry you someday. You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all. But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you, this is what I have to do.
I went by my old house. There's a teenage girl living there now. She showed me my closet door and you know what that said? Lucas and Peyton, True Love Always. Always Lucas, that's what we were supposed to have. Let me tell you how you get "always" Peyton... when a man asks you to marry him, you say yes. I never said no! I said that I loved you and that I did wanna marry you someday. Can't understand the things you do. Nothing turns out the way we planned. You're still my baby and I'm still you're man. I moved on. Why haven't you? Cause I should have said yes. I was young, and I was scared, and I did not realize that by saying I wasn't ready it would mean that we would never be together again. Had I known that, I would have said yes. I miss you every day. And I have told everyone here that I didn't come back for you, but I did. Of course I did. I still love you Lucas. You still love me, don't you? Here's what I intended, and here is the truth. Suddenly it was as if the roar of the crowd, and the cheers of my team mates were all sounding from a thousand miles away, and what remained in that bizarre muffled silence was only Haley, the girl whose art and passion and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we'd always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth; I was now and always would be in love with Peyton Sawyer. Look me in the eye and tell me that, that kiss did not feel exactly the same as it felt three years ago.
I was reminded today in a roundabout way that the most perfect act of love is sacrifice. It's what Keith did for Karen... burying his feelings for her for all those years so he could be a good friend. I love you Lucas. I think I have since the first moment we locked eyes and it is going to suck, but if what you want is for me to let go, then I'm gonna do it. Be happy Luke. I want that with all my heart. The love you professed will always be there, the spark of something undeniable, a seed of hope, the truth for better or for worse burning fiercely just below the surface. Is there a chance? A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel? A reason to fight? It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life; direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... and his belief in God and love and art would be reawakened in his heart. You were a good thing in a world gone wrong.
I come in here and I sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be, and so I wish for patience, and grace, and the strength to just let him be happy. Mostly, I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. That's the toughest part, letting go, you know? That's the part of grace that just really sucks. Make a wish, place it in your heart. Anything you want, everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle will come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it... you just may get the thing you're wishing for. Wish I were with you, but I couldn't stay. Every direction leads me away. Pray for tomorrow, but for today all I want is to be home. I don't blame you, Peyton. I hate you. Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah. Peyton Sawyer will become Peyton Scott. However far away, however long I stay, whatever words I say, I will always love you. The day you start thinking that love is overrated is the day that you're wrong. I don't hate you. I remember the first time I ever saw you; all skinny arms and tangled mess of hair. It was hard letting you go, Peyton. It was hard losing you and it was hard seeing you again. It's still really hard. I know. While I'm asleep I have this dream where we're back in that hotel room in LA and you propose to me; and every single time I say yes. It's just a dream right? It's my dream. To all those lost souls who have forgotten to believe in the immensity of love. What if I told you your tears haven't been ignored and everything that was taken can be restored? Feel this. Can you feel this? Let go and believe.

• • •

Lovers, keep on the road you're on. Hi babe. Hi wifey. You know I can't believe it's been a year. Time flies when you get what you wish for. It's always you in my big dreams. How did you know which one to choose? I guess I always knew. I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart. I want to tell you something son, it’s the most important thing there is. Love. Finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with. I know I made the right choice. That’s where they get you, thinking you had a choice. Love finds you son, you don’t find love. But if you wanna believe you had a choice in the matter, I'd say you made the right one. Why's that? Cause she showed up and she sure is pretty. You’re a mess Nathan Scott, but you’re my mess, and I love you. Locusts will lift me up, I’m just a prisoner in a reign of love. Lucas, white trash Vegas material? Heart skips a beat breathtaking material. Peyton Sawyer, I love you. Yes! You didn’t let me ask you yet. Yes, baby yes! God I love you! A love back home, it unfolds, and if you love me, won’t you let me know? It’s not funny! I’m so sorry! I’m only laughing at how angry you got, I mean I’ve never heard anyone yell at it before. You can put a stick in my spokes, I can be the butt of your jokes. I can be the laughing stock, I can be the hoax. But I ain't gonna lose you. You punched Julian. Yeah, that was me not being jealous. You know its hard for me to know you were in love with this guy, but you have been so strong and so good to me when I’ve strayed from us. So I’m going to try and let go of it, besides who wouldn’t fall in love with you, Peyton Sawyer. We all make mistakes, here’s your lifeline.
I’m not sure I can call you my fiancé anymore. cause I was thinking I’d start calling you my baby daddy. Are we? I’m having your baby Lucas Scott, our baby, were pregnant. It’s been a long year, and all this mess around me is finally clear. How are you? Were good. Yes, we are. Hey baby, Daddy’s home. It’s been a long year, and I’m finally ready to be here. You see that girl lying there next to you? Well, you don’t know it now, but she’s a superhero. Trust me. Awhile back, I had a dream something happened to you. It got me to thinking about my life without you and I can’t live that life, no I can’t live that life. Tell me, what is my life without your love, tell me who am I without you, by my side. We can’t even think like that, okay? Will you just please look at all the stuff you and I have survived together? Car crashes, bullet wounds, and psychos! Are we really gonna let a doctor lay odds on us? Maybe you and I are meant to create this life, because maybe this life is gonna change the world. I can’t except that our story doesn’t have a good ending. Our story already has the greatest ending, cause were together. It’s kicking hard, do you feel that? Yeah. Hey, it is okay for you to love this baby, it doesn’t mean you don’t love me. I can’t live without you, Peyton. I still love you, I still want you, I still need you, after all. I’m having this baby. No. Were having this baby. For better or worse, sickness and health, till death do us part, after all.
A death video? A sad box of stuff? What's next? I want to get married, now. Absolutely not. Why is it so important to do it now? Because! No, we're not doing anything just in case. Angel, if you want me, let's try harder, let me in. If you had one more day with Peyton, would you rather spend it arguing or just being married? Angel, if you want this, I'll try harder, let you in. Aunt Peyton was a cool angel. They call her love, love, love, love, love. She is love, and she is all I need. Really? We'll get married right away? It's not because of the baby, or our situation, or any damn thing. I want you to be my wife, because I love you. I love you with all my heart. I love you, too. So what are we waiting for? It's been a long time, nothing new. I'm here, I'm here. Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you. “Peyton Sawyer will become Peyton Scott” Lucas wrote this in the 8th grade. I remember him talking about her constantly and not just in the 8th grade, in the 9th grade, in the 10th grade, in the 11th grade and finally in our Junior Year, Lucas gathered the courage and talked to Peyton for the first time, right here at this lake, and she was a bitch. He said “Haley, I talked to her” and when I asked him if the fantasy was finally over he could finally admit that Peyton Sawyer was human after all. And he said “No, Peyton Sawyer is not human. She’s an angel, and she’s my angel.” Like a river flows surely to the sea. Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. "I believe in true love. I believe in love at first sight. I believe love conquers all. And that doesn’t mean there’s not gonna be hard days or difficult things to deal with, because there will be. But finding that person who does it for you and knowing that person loves you back it just makes everything so much easier. “Peyton Sawyer will become Peyton Scott.” That was the dream. And here we are 10 years later and we all get to witness today a dream come true." So won't you please take my hand, and take my whole life too. 'Cause I can't help falling in love, in love with you
Peyton, I’ve loved you since the first time i saw you. And this ring and these words are just simply a way to show the rest of the world what has been in my heart for as long as I’ve known you. I love you, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. I always have and I always will.
Lucas Scott, We’ve been through so much together. And despite how confused I’ve been or lost I might have gotten there was always you. Finding me and saving me. You deserve to be adored so that’s what we’re gonna do, your baby and me. We are going to adore you for years to come. I am so terribly in love with you. And I always will be.Finally. Today was a good day. It was perfect. And you hold me in your arms. And all that I can see is my future in your hands. Peyton! Stay with me! And all that I can feel is how long ever after is. It's all that I can do, to be with you, just to be with you. In your wedding dress. To have and to hold. I would give it all not to fly murderous air backlit skies. I took her home and I’m doing what I can, but she needs her Mom. I need her Mom. We were supposed to do that together. I can’t do this without you. I'll hold her and I'll come over just to hold her for you. And I’m just afraid that I’m gonna lose you and it’s just gonna be the two of us. And she doesn’t even have a name. Sawyer, Okay? Her name is Sawyer. Sawyer Scott, God you scared me. Can I see her? I just want it to be me, you, and our daughter for a minute. Hey Sawyer, remember me? I missed you. And I'm gonna love you forever. Hallelujah for these eyes to see your painted life. Hallelujah for the touch now of skin to skin with mine. Hallelujah for this mind that keeps our souls combined. Hallelujah for this life that let me be your child. Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life. So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy because you deserve to be. Believe that. And believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do.
Epic love stories weren't meant to be comprehended, but complicated. It's in between the words, lyrics and moments where the true depth of belief anchors the heart. What once was, will always be. True love that only mends, never breaks.

Episode 1x02 - "The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most"
I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith or a
fading summer or… just a moment of clarity. It’s like when you go and you see a really great band live
for the first time, you know, and nobody’s saying it but everybody’s thinking it "We have something to
believe in again." I want to draw that feeling. But, I can’t. And if I can’t be great at it then I don’t want to
ruin itIt’s too important to me.

Episode 1x12 - Crash Course in Polite Conversation
Taking on the day, waiting to escape the thoughts that keep me here today. Cutting back the time,
waiting for your light to show and lead me through the day, and I wonder now will you be there too?
With all the time I thought of you. 'Cause I need you more I need you more than that.Waiting for the sign to fall.

"besides, who wouldn't fall in love with you, Peyton Sawyer?"

Episode 1x01 - Pilot
My closest friend linoleum. Linoleum supports my head, gives me something
to believe. That's me on the beach-side combing the sand, metal meter in my hand.That's me inside your head.

Episode 1x09 - With Arms Outstretched
Everybody thinks you're well, everybody thinks I'm ill. Watching me fall apart,
falling under your spell, but you're fooling yourself You're fooling yourself,
'cause you say you love me and then you do it again.You do it again.

Episode 1x13 - Hanging By a Moment
She’s great. Okay? But, she’s not you. Look ever since you came to my room and you told me
how you felt about me I’ve been hiding with Brooke. Okay? I’ve been trying not to get hurt
again. I don’t want to hide anymore.Even if we could be together, what makes you think it would work?'Cause I feel it in my heart.

Episode 2x23 - The Leavers Dance
All the years buried under the floors, and the wounds in the parlor
would have come up to greet us before, if it weren't for my heart because
I've her name in mine, and it's calling all the timeFor my sweet Lavinia.

Episode 2x21 - What Could Have BeenDon't give up on him, Peyton.

"I have to be with you."

Episode 2x10 - Don't Take Me for Granted
Severed fragments of my being piece together, give life meaning. Fragile
quilts of faded memories, torn apart by life's disease again. I will cry, all
is a lie that we must break.Heal my heartache.

Episode 2x18 - Lonesome Road
If I was your girlfriend, I'll be there for you, if somebody hurts
you, even if that somebody is me. Sometimes I trip on how
happy we could be, and so I put this on my life. Nobody or
nothing will ever come between us. And I promise I'll give my life
and all of my trust if you was my boyfriend. Put this on my life
The air that I breathe in, all that I believe in. I promise I'll give my
life my love and my trust if you was my boyfriend.All I need in this life of sin...

Episode 2x13 - The Hero Dies In This One
(Lucas to Jake) Good, we need you here.You're a good friend, Luke.